


Growth

by Neaislove



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Omega Stiles, a/b/o dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 02:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11370330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neaislove/pseuds/Neaislove
Summary: Stiles is still finding things the Nogitsune took from him.





	Growth

**Author's Note:**

> So this is pre-relationship but it's all the groundwork.
> 
> This is for [skinsharpenedteeth](skinsharpenedteeth.tumblr.com).

You'd think someone would have figured it out by now. Someone big. Government big. Maybe they had. Maybe there really was a big conspiracy going on and each time a world leader came into power they're lead into a room where they're let in on the big secret. The big secret being the supernatural. It just seems counter intuitive to think that big brother doesn't know. Maybe someday when Beacon Hills burns to the ground under the weight of it's own crazy supernatural hunger Stiles can fuck off and be a big bad special ops supernatural expert.

Semper Fi motherfuckers.

But for now Stiles had to operate under the assumption that most people didn't know and he was by and large on his own. He couldn't exactly head to the Mayo clinic and claim possession. And if it weren't enough that the Nogitsune had messed him up mentally he'd also apparently shot his heat cycles to hell as well. Void had been Neutral. He didn't ask why. He'd been curious, absurdly curious, but he'd been too occupied with riddles and hallucinations to stop and ask about Classification trends in trickster spirits. Kira wasn't Neutral, but she wasn't an immortal evil spirit either.

Regardless, he hadn't had a heat since his possession. Before Void his heat's had always been odd. He got them four times a year, like every other Omega, but they've always been irregular. Sometimes they were weak and burned like a low grade fever for over a week. Sometimes it was hard and fast, making him into a whining, sweat slick mass of skin. But he'd always hit his heat. Until his possession.

Void was Neutral. The weaker Stiles got, the more Void's own spirit influenced his body. He hadn't even realized until after they'd trapped him that he'd missed his heat entirely. And it hadn't seemed like such a big deal at the time. Stiles had still been very aware that he could still be dying of frontotemporal dementia. He'd still been tallying up casualties and property damage costs.

Honestly he'd been relieved at first. He wrote off the missed cycle as the result of stress. His body's way of giving him a small break. Instead it was looking more and more like Void's final parting gift. He'd always known he was a Enervis type. A fair number of Omega males were. It didn't stop them from seeking female partners. There were toys out there, whole companies that built their business on knotting dildos and aids for guys who couldn't get hard during their heats.

But the thing was, before Void, he had no problems getting it up leading to his heat. The week before his heat spiked he'd get hungry, ravenous. All Omega's did. During that week Stiles made it practically a ritual to jerk off as much as possible while he still could. But this past heat, his first since Void, late as all hell, he hadn't been able to get it up for the whole month.

Between the dead pool and the breakup he'd been able to avoid actual penetrative sex. He'd become a veritable master of oral sex. She'd accepted that he wanted to rest up before his heat peaked. He'd stupidly assumed that once the time had come Malia would love him enough to figure it out.

And that's what sucked. She did love him. She'd let the whole world burn just to save him. But she didn't know what to do with a Enervis type. She couldn't figure out how to get him off and he just kept whining and crying. His whole body had ached and trembled and all Malia could do was curl around him and bite his neck to keep him still. When she crawled out of his window after he felt an ache in his bones. He knew she'd probably never crawl back in.

Stiles should have said something. Should have told his Dad he was single again. Should have told the pack his heats were different. Should have asked Melissa for suppressants. But he didn't do anything. He let it happen because that's what he does. He ignores things and hopes they go away and they never do. Now he's single and scared and he just wants Malia to come back so he can sleep.

Stiles throws his arm over his eyes and tries to relax. His bed feels so empty now. It shouldn't. It's a freakin' twin. Stiles rolls to the side and punches his pillow a few times. Then he clenches his fist around a handful of his comforter and squeezes his eyes shut. "Just go to sleep already." Stiles tried to focus on his body. He visualized each limb, one at a time and willed them to go limp. He started with his arms. It was easier that way, his legs were always so twitchy.

By the time he's cycled through his whole body he feels heavy but no closer to sleep. He just can't stop thinking. It's not even all about Malia, which is a horrible thing on his own. He loved her. She wasn't his Lydia. But she was good to him. She loved him fiercely and made him feel safe. But he was past that for the moment. No, he was thinking about his heat's now. He'd missed one and then his first since had been noticeably different. It was a very real possibility that he'd never have a regular heat again. He could be sterile. Who knows what his new, magically made, body is capable of. Or rather not capable of.

Tears start welling up in his eyes and the back of his throat starts to burn. He might never get to have kids. Stiles tucks his face into his pillow and lets himself cry. Sleep doesn't come. He cries and cries, first for what might happen to his heats and then for everything that happened with Void. Then it cycle's back around until his face is hot and he can barely breathe.

"Stiles."

He stilled. He hadn't even heard Derek come in. The amount of times people crept through his window, he should be use to it by now. His face was still sticky and hot so he kept it pressed close to his pillow. Even if Derek could smell and hear it a mile off Stiles felt it helped him retain some small amount of dignity to not actually show him he was right.

"Stiles."

Stiles grits his teeth and rubs his face against his pillow. "What?" He tries to keep his breath from hitching even though his heart is beating rabbit fast. He feels the bed dip. He knows that Derek is sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees. He's probably staring a hole in his floor. "What Derek?"  
"I heard about Malia."

Stiles kicks away his blankets and flops around onto his back. He stares angrily up at his ceiling. Derek Hale snuck into his bedroom window to talk to him about his feelings. What was his life, seriously. "She talk to you?"

"We saw each other at Safe Way." Derek rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip. "I said I couldn't smell you on her and she said I wouldn't anymore."  
"So she didn't mention any problems?"

"Problems? What kind of problems?"

Stiles wants to say 'limp dick problems' but he's not sure he could stomach Derek knowing too. He can only imagine the heckling. "Nothing just...we're not good for each other I guess." That was both of their faults. Maybe it was for the best.

"That's good."

Stiles snorts and covers his face with his hands. "Well fuck you too." He wants to throw something at Derek but he figures it'd probably bad for his health. He's got enough shit going on right now. He doesn't need a new bruise on top of it.

Derek sighs and twists on the bed. His hand hovers awkwardly over Stiles' hip for a second before dropping it back into his own lap. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that it's better for you to find out now. Before things get serious."

"I was serious."

Derek clicks his tongue. "I mean before something big changed. Your first heat with someone...it's a good indicator of how things are going to go."

And yeah Derek probably understood that. He wasn't an Omega but he'd had his fair share of horrible relationships. If his track record was to be believed, getting out early saved lives. "Have any ideas Casso-not-a?" Stiles snorts. "Knot." He catches a glimpse of Derek's completely unimpressed face and groans. He kicks his legs restlessly and rolls to face him. "What?"

"Just...have a back up plan next time okay." Derek reaches over and flicks Stiles on the hip. Then he's up and climbing out of the window without a sound.  
Stiles twists up on his elbows and cranes his head out. "Nice chat!" He slumps back down on the bed, one arm dangling off the side, and sighs. For a while Stiles plucks at his carpet with idle fingers, desperately trying not to think about Malia. Or his body. The body that's not his body. And what that means for his heats and fertility.

* * *

School is awkward. When a couple leaves for a heat week and comes back not a couple everyone knows what happened. Basically anyways. The specifics can be elusive. So people talk. It seems like someone's always got something to say about Stiles and his friends. Understandable now with all the crazy stuff they get up too. Including Stiles' many public break downs and his trip to Eichen House.

The main theory seems to be that even in heat Stiles is lackluster. As insulting as it is, it's nice to see that people are giving Malia the benefit of the doubt. He tries to take it in stride. He really fucking does. But this isn't like normal. Normally he can tune it out because he knows things they don't know. He comforts himself with knowing the truth and that's enough for him. But the things people are saying? He's never felt so emasculated in his life, so lonely.

While male Omega's aren't quite as subjugated as they use to be, having ED sticks him on the bottom of the barrel. In high school all anyone can think about is dick in hole intercourse. So since Stiles can't get it up he must be a sad little virgin. And while that may have been half true for a while its not really anyone's business. It's also really narrow minded and it trivializes every amazing thing he and Malia did in bed.

Lunch is tense. Stiles generally has the feeling that everyone giggling around him is mocking him but today its actually true. He even catches a glimpse of one girl miming the apparent size of his dick. No one at the table really knows what to say. His and Malia's relationship had been unusual, skirting just this side of morally acceptable. Technically she shouldn't have been in a place mentally to date or touch anyone sexually. But Stiles let it go. She'd always felt like he was softer, less of a danger because he was an Omega. And because she could kill him with minimal effort. Stiles had just rationalized on that.

They met under shit circumstances and made something beautiful. Something that had no withered away and died a horrible awkward death. Like watering your plant with energy drinks, or something.

"I'm just...gonna go." Stiles sighs and pushes his tray away from himself. Ever since his possession the school has seemed to turn a blind eye to his comings and goings. They'll still call his dad but no one will stop him from driving out of the lot. His Dad doesn't care much about his attendance these days either. He wants Stiles to do well in school but there's a lot more leeway. Almost dying has a few perks apparently.

Stepping outside helps him breathe a little better. His heart still feels heavy and his gut is still churning over petty gossip but the sun's on his face. For a minute he just stands on the steps of the school and tips his face up. The feel of the warm day soaks into his clothes and bones. It's the most alive he's felt in a while.

The Nogitsune didn't just ruin his cycles. It ruined everything. It cranked his anxiety up to eleven. It fused a chill deep in his bones. It turned the scar on his heart into a bleeding gash that refused to close. It kept him hyper-vigilant. Which is why he didn't flail and panic when Derek snuck up on him. By now Derek lurking on school grounds was commonplace. Honestly he's still a little surprised that the cops haven't been called to intervene. Or maybe they have and his dad just doesn't pay it any mind.

"Want to go somewhere?" Derek jerks his head back to gesture across the lot. His shiny new soccer mom car is nestled next to two others. It looks entirely inconspicuous. Which is probably one of the reasons he bought it.

Part of him wants to say no. He doesn't really feel like being with anyone right now. He hasn't in a while. But thats what it wanted. For him to be isolated, alone, cold. "Sure." Stiles shakes himself out and saunters down the rest of the stairs to bump shoulders with Derek. "Will you feed me Alpha?"

Derek chuffs but doesn't disagree. "So I'm your Alpha when you're hungry but not when I need help cleaning my car."

"I'm not that kind of Omega. I excel more in other areas. Like compliments and telling people they should have brought an extra hoodie." Stiles chuckles to himself. He's pretty sure Derek sees him as half a dumbass on a good day so it's easy to let go and ramble. Together the two of them make it across the lot at a gentle stroll, bumping arms every couple of steps. Even though it's starting to warm up Derek is still wearing his leather jacket and the warmth of it easily soaks through into his own sleeve.  
"Is that all?" Derek says it as a joke, with that sarcastic lit to his voice Stiles hasn't really heard since Erica discovered miniskirts.  
"I'll have you know those are highly desirable traits. What have you got going on oh Alpha my Alpha?"

Instead of actually answering Derek opens Stiles door for him and pins him with a look. Stiles almost wants to call it Blue Steel. "Fine." Stiles scrunches up his face and feints at him, completely unconcerned that Derek doesn't react in the slightest. Then he gets into the car and buckles up.

True to his nature Derek does take Stiles to get something to eat. They end up in a too big corner booth at Denny's. Its a little slow and the only other people they can see are a group of old ladies all having pancakes and coffee. "Get what you want."  
Stiles snorts. "The left side of the menu okay with you?"

"If you'd like." Derek doesn't bother looking away from his own menu to answer. Since his heat has passed Stiles' appetite has come back but its nothing like all consuming hunger he'd felt just after his heat ended. His body was mostly leveled out now and he didn't really need any more food than normal. But since the Nogitsune his appetite had dropped off from its usual teenage boy standards.

After Malia left Stiles had spent a few hours unable to move from his bed. He'd laid in his sweaty, stale sheets and felt sorry for himself until his stomach clenched so painfully he'd moved involuntarily. Hunger took a backseat to the need to breed. Once that was over the hunger came crashing back in. Stiles had forced himself downstairs and ate an entire family sized box of Frosted Flakes with his hands just to take the edge off. Then he worked his way through three tupperwares of leftovers.

"You think they'll make that cheese stick grilled cheese if I ask?" Stiles drums his fingers across the menu. It was a great sandwich. "It's a grilled cheese but with four cheese sticks inside. Comes with a little saucer or marinara." He makes a little cup with his hands to demonstrate.

Derek shrugs and closes his menu. "Probably." Derek nods to himself and sets the menu aside. "Have you thought about getting help?"

"Have you?" Stiles straightens up and tries to make himself disappear into the booth seat. Usually when Derek feeds him they talk about something meaningless. Or Stiles talks while Derek tries to become one with his burger. Heart to heart chats are usually reserved for those late nights Derek slips through his window. After the blood gets wiped away.  
Derek is about to respond when the waitress comes. His face changes instantly from the drawn seriousness to something happy and fake. He lays on the charm thick and orders their drinks his own meal, a Grandslamwhich with extra maple mayo. He turns his wide, cheesy smile on Stiles and gestures for him to answer.

"Can I get a cheese stick grilled cheese?" He makes a cup with his hands again even though she never heard that part of the conversation. To his surprise she agrees and leaves with a polite smile. As soon as her back turns Derek's face sinks. He looks tired. Stiles wonders if that's what he looks like too.

"I never got help." Derek smooths his thumbs across the table and looks down at them. Suddenly Stiles feels uncomfortable seeing him like his in public. "Laura...Laura wanted me to get help. She found someone close by. Someone who knew about us." He licks his lips and looks up, pinning Stiles in place with his eyes. He looks a breath away from crying. "I wouldn't do it. I thought that was something only Omega's did. I thought...I thought it would make me weak. Inferior."

Derek sniffs and lays his hands flat against the table. Stiles, grateful for something else to focus on, looks at them. Those hands have ripped necks clean from bodies and doors from cars. Those hands have also carried him home. Those hands carried Laura's remains. Those hands pulled Scott to safety and killed Paige. Stiles doesn't want to think about what his own hands have done.

"Laura didn't know what to do with me. So we left. We just...left everything behind and moved on." It's quiet. Their waitress is coming back with their glasses and Stiles can tell Derek needs a minute to compose himself. He thanks her for them both.

"Sounds like something I'd do."

"You shouldn't. You shouldn't just push it away." Derek slid his hand across the table and left his palm out, inviting Stiles to put down his wrist. "Not getting help made me weak. Don't make the mistake I did."

"How?" Stiles drops his hand down to the table and watches as Derek slowly turns his palm to cup his wrist.

"We'll find someone. I'll help you."

* * *

Someone turned out to be Abagail Tuns, a doctor in the know. She moved out Chicago and started a small practice in Nor Cal once she established herself. Derek found her through an old college friend and helped Stiles book an appointment.

"I don't know what to say."

Abagail crossed her arms and leaned forward on her desk to get a closer look at Stiles. "Just start where you feel comfortable. I'm not a psychologist. I'm a doctor. Tell me what you want a solution for and we'll go from there."

Stiles licked his lips. Then he started tugging and smoothing his pant legs. "I uh...I was possessed. By a Neutral." He turns his head to the side so he can look at her books. He can feel the lump in his throat growing but he won't let it win. Not when he's finally getting help. "I'm an Enervis type and it's always been...not great, but manageable. I was fine with it." He blinks away the moisture brimming in his eyes.

"I missed a cycle during possession. Then another one afterwards. I thought it was me. Because I was so thin. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to touch myself, any part of myself. I felt relieved." He turns to look at Abagail again. Her face is open, but not sad. "Then I wanted to get better. I wanted to be normal again. I had a girlfriend. My ED lasted a whole month, not just the week before. I uh...I want to know if I'm infertile." Stiles clenches his fists and stares at her dead on, bracing himself for the worst.

"That's a very straightforward concern, with a lot of different treatment options. First I'll put you on a special tea blend. I'll send you with a sample and directions on how to make more. Drink a cup a day. But on the more scientific side, we can run some blood tests. Check your hormone levels and do an ultrasound to get a look at your womb. If you're comfortable with it we could also do a pap smear." She sits back in her chair and smiles gently at Stiles.

"Possession does change people. Sometimes it's physical and sometimes it's purely mental. You're irregular cycles could be the result of stress. I've been told it takes one year to get over one month of stress. You can't rush your body. But if this is physiological we have avenues we can take. Hormone treatments, herbal treatments, spells if you're so inclined. But whatever happens I'm here with you."

Stiles lets out a breathy laugh of disbelief. "I can't pay. I ca--"

Abagail holds up her hand to stop him. "There's too much suffering involved with this world. It's hard enough to find someone who knows, let alone finding someone who can help. I don't charge for these treatments Stiles. I think you've paid more than your fair share."

Stiles can't help but cry. Just having options, having someone with experience and knowledge, is like a breath of fresh air. He walks out of his appointment with a bag of tea and not plans, but a content sense that he can make them. He can dream about a family again. He scrubs at his eyes with his arm, letting his hoodie soak up the last of his tears. When he straightens out again he sees Derek.

"Do you need me to drive?" He holds his hand out for the keys and steps in close, like he can shield Stiles from the prying eyes dotted around the parking lot.  
"I think you probably should. I want mac and cheese."

Derek pulls the keys from his loose grip with a smile. "I know a place."

Stiles tips his head up again to catch the sun on his face. Derek is healing too. Maybe slower, because there have been set backs. Stiles is sure he'll have those too. But now they can heal together. And maybe someday Derek will feed Stiles as an Omega, not just a pack member. Until then they can lean on each other, like Alpha's and Omega's should. Like family should.


End file.
